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Sometimes I feel like Iapos;m selling out.

When I was studying in China, I liked to separate myself from some of the other students. Many of my classmates were interested in Chinese language because of business and politics. They heard it would help get them into grad school or would look good on a resume. Iapos;m not like that. Sure, itapos;s great that Chinese language can help you find a job, but thatapos;s not why I started studying it, and thatapos;s not why I continue to study it. Studying language and studying culture are inseparable, and I like to study Chinese language because I like to study Chinese culture. Iapos;m different from the young businessmen and politicians because I want to experience Chinese culture for the pure joy of it, not for the money. Furthermore, I want to experience the less comfortable aspects of China: the strange food, awkward situations, and the crazy people.

My current situation, however, does not reflect these interests. Taiwan is very comfortable, almost too comfortable. As far as technology, medicine, food, and all the other luxuries of Western life are concerned, I may as well be in New York. The language barrier isnapos;t nearly as difficult to get around as in China, because so many people speak English. Despite my best efforts, I never get to use my Chinese as much as I would like. Also, Iapos;m making good money. I donapos;t think thereapos;s anything wrong with making money, but I have to ask myself, wouldnapos;t it be better to be making less money and living somewhere interesting, like Xinjiang or Sichuan?

Itapos;s taken me about a week to finish this entry, and Iapos;m glad Iapos;ve had the extra time to reflect. My life in Taiwan is different than I had expected, but Iapos;m OK with that. This year will not be the year I have countless adventures and open my eyes to new worlds; this year will be the year I make some money and experience big city life. Itapos;s like doing Teach for America, except I get to speak more Chinese and donapos;t have to go to scary inner city schools. Plus I can make some money for the next adventure, whether be it grad school, Xinjiang, Sichuan, or whatever else

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