chicago salsa congresso

If I can be totally vague for a moment...

For three years of youth Iapos;ve been standing on this shore, staring at this sea. It is beautiful, independent, hypnotic, frightening. Sometimes I am distracted by a passing gull or what is probably not a mermaid on the horizon, but my attention inevitably returns to the sea.

For three years of dreams Iapos;ve been dragging my feet inch by inch into the sea. My ankles are submerged, then my knees. I think about turning back, but I never do. At the same time, the sea rises. A wave comes in, I feel a heady rush, the wave goes out, I am suddenly exposed, cold.

For three years of silence Iapos;ve been getting deeper and deeper, but only now, when it might be too late to save myself, do I realize I might be in danger. A new wave comes in, higher than any before it. I move my mouth to match it but I canapos;t say anything and suddenly I am submerged. The embrace is sweet, surprising, and brief. The void after the wave recedes has me coughing and pained. Through eyes full of salt I look down at the slick, bare sand and see empty shells, a stranded crab, a length of brown seaweed.

For three years of waiting, death has been coming. I can give myself to the sea but I donapos;t know if it will drown me or if I have been able to breathe in it all along. I can be completely engulfed in the sea forever, or I can turn back to dry land, safe but with the bitter taste of salt in my mouth.

And this is where I stand now, below the sea line at a depth where the next wave could take me away and end my life as I know it. One foot points back to land but I face forward, exposing my breast to the sky, the wind, and the sea.

-=-

I wish for providence, fortune, and resolve, but most of all I wish for her.
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